How I got here

If you were to take a glimpse at adolescent Megan you would see her as a happy, adventurous tomboy living in the worlds tiniest town. A girl, her dog and countless trees to climb. Oh, and a tag along little brother who just had to go everywhere I went. More often then not, I'd be seen wearing corduroy overalls and a tee shirt. I had like 4 pair and they were just on a constant rotation. The pictures are still cringe worthy and eventually I grew tired of wearing them. We were raised with good values. We weren't poor but we also weren't swimming in gold coins. We learned the importance of earning the things you want most. Keeping up with the Jones' wasn't a thing in our neighborhood. Although, the things I (thought I) wanted most were brand labels too expensive and ridiculous to own in a small little dust bowl. Kids came to school wearing Nike or Adidas and that some how signaled they have money. So instantly they are the "cool" kids. (Insert eye roll) My brother and I wore what was affordable. Sometimes that meant hand me downs or my grandmas favorite, yard sale scores! We had clothes on our back and shoes that fit our feet. What more could you ask for, right?

Hopefully this is painting a picture of a small town girl who I feel had it all. At least I feel that way now. At the time I felt so far away from reality that even considering to move to the big city gave me anxiety. But I wanted more. My love for fashion was a hidden in a closet as it didn't reflect the place I lived. I feared my desires to be more stylish or think outside the box would be rejected or made fun of. Of course, this is not the case. Perhaps others would look at me differently and who doesn't have haters? What I truly was missing was the confidence to be comfortable in my own shoes. To shine even when it's raining. To take the plunge even when I'm scared. I had all I needed growing up there but I didn't know it until much later.

The point of this almost one paragraph to long story is, we think we need more to feel whole or complete but really what we truly need is inside of us. If what's on the inside isn't stable then it doesn't matter what you put on your body or what you do to your body, you will still have that feeling of something missing.